Compassion Family: About Me

About Me

This is a little bit about me, Jill ~ the person behind this blog.

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Jill and Jazmin in Peru ~ August 2010

Wife ~ married to Kevin since 1996.

Mother ~ two beautiful daughters whom I currently homeschool.

Compassion Sponsor and Advocate ~ became a sponsor in 1994.

Violinist - player and teacher

Trying to live simply

I created this blog as a resource for families to pursue the ministry of Compassion as a family. My prayer is that your sponsorship experience will be enriched and your family will be blessed.

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Tiare · 604 weeks ago

Our family is a certified "Resource Family" here in our home state of Hawai'i. We've been looking for credible organizations to join abroad. Thanks for sharing your story with Compassion. We're looking into them now!

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simplybeth3 12p · 542 weeks ago

Jill, I wasn't sure of the best way to reach out to you but would really like to connect with you more related to Compassion. I have a few questions. Could you email me at simplybeth3(at)gmail(dot)com when you have a moment. No rush. Thank you. Beth @ SimplyBeth

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Bergies · 538 weeks ago

We were blessed with sponsoring a child from the age of about 7 until graduating the program and completing college at age 22. Recently, the child has made contact (we learned we are not given any information to contact them, it is up to the child now adult, to contact us). We have been live chatting through social media. It was a delightful surprise at first. We love this child a lot. However, within a day or two, we were first asked to send them a specific item, to which we said we could not do that. We said if we could, we would. Later in the day, we were asked more specific questions about our financial situation. We told them it was rude to ask that. They did apologize profusely. The next day we received a message from them telling us how it was their "right" to know about our finances because they are our child and they also mentioned that they had heard about Compassion sponsors and how they basically had a lot of money and they detailed what they believed sponsors own and do. Overall. it felt icky. But we didn't want to be harsh so trying to be understanding about their curiosity and culture, we responded by just telling them in a general way about how finances vary in many countries, including in Canada. We did let them know how blessed we are, explained about tithing, as well as tried explaining how we pay taxes and that pay for a lot of different services such as, education, healthcare, and road repairs. They didn't ask anymore, so far. We told them we want to understand their culture how finances work but that it was not our business to know their personal finances. The did inform us about what they believed their parents made. Of course it was pennies compared to North American income. We then felt guilt to some degree because obviously we are rich compared to their numbers. We did try to explain how the cost of living, food and such needs to be compared to income. All things being relative. The subject didn't come up for the rest of the day. We have only been in contact for three days while they are at their new job and have access to technology.
We are just really concerned about what is to be expected when a former sponsored child makes contact on their own and what is appropriate for us to respond to or say. We were told to just change the subject and that some cultures are more blunt about asking personal questions whereas, other cultures like ours are more blunt about other topics.
Does anyone else have experiences with former children they once sponsored and they made to graduation? What should we be concerned about? How can we interact with the now adult that we love, without offending them and yet protect ourselves. Should we be careful or even give it a second thought? We want to know what is "normal" for former/ graduated sponsored children to expect or request from their former foster parents. We understand that in North America we are definitely rich even those below the poverty line.
We were told by Compassion a while ago that we are not allowed to give out contact information either way. It is to protect not just sponsors but the children as well. We never imagined that a former sponsored child would have financial expectations of their former sponsor. Do you or does anyone else have any advice or suggestions on how to handle such questions and comments. I think there should be a place for former sponsors to know what to expect as they maintain contact with their child beyond sponsorship. Advice on how to nurture that relationship in a culture we know nothing about would be great. Unlike some sponsors we never visited our child, nor can we.
Have been trying to research this topic and found your site. It is difficult to find any helpful information on the subject. Your help or suggestions would be appreciated. We do want to develop and maintain a relationship with our "child." It is very difficult to want to move forward when you feel concerned that the individual may only be interested in what you can give them financially. Not saying this is the case, but it is difficult not to think so.
Thank you for your blog and your time.

1 reply · active 538 weeks ago

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fiddlejill 88p · 538 weeks ago

What a tough situation, although it sounds like you have handled it with grace so far. It also sounds like this "child" is being prompted and pushed by family members to ask for things from you. Especially when you mentioned they apologized profusely but then the next day suggested they had the right to know about your financial situation.

I have had limited contact with two recent graduates of mine. One was a graduate of the LDP program and I met him 4 years ago in Peru. He speaks Spanish and we can have limited conversations. The other was the boy we sponsored for 11 years in Kenya and speaks a little English. I have not encountered the issues you have, however.

If you don't mind, I would like to forward this to my advocate manager and see what advice he can give you. I could also present your situation as a blog post and see if other sponsors have advice for you. I know some sponsors have had great success in continuing a relationship with their sponsored child after graduation. I can be pretty vague about it - even let you read what I write before you post it. I'd love to know what others have to say about it.

Let me know if you want me to pursue either route for you.

Above all, I'll be praying for you and the situation. That God would continue to give you grace and wisdom in the situation and that a healthy relationship can be maintained.

Blessings,
Jill Foley

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sharon stanley · 525 weeks ago

hi jill...just wanted to say i'm so pleased to find your blog. i'm a new sponsor with a child in nicaragua so this blog is particularly interesting to me. the pictures alone tell quite a story don't they? your trip must have been eye-opening, and i learned a lot just reading the posts. thanks for such good info!

1 reply · active 524 weeks ago

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fiddlejill 88p · 524 weeks ago

Glad you found me - hope you enjoy the blog! What project does your child in Nicaragua attend?

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